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- 6 ways to take things slow in a relationship without stringing someone along - HelloGiggles
- Ask a Guy: He Wants to Take It Slow… Now?
And when it moved slow, it was always a bad sign. The slow moving men were still in love with their exes, were emotionally unavailable and scared of commitment, or were dating lots of women and just completely unsure about me in general.
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People seem to think that moving slow helps you to learn more about someone but it does not. Even a slow moving guy will still hide stuff. If anything, I hid more the slower it went. Maybe its a personality thing. But from experience, you want the guys who are moving fast. Those men know what they want. Hot and heavy the first 2 weeks. He saw me during the week, took me dancing,nice dinners, brought me flowers. He wanted to give me a key to his condo a week after we met. He gave me his passwords to computer, phone, etc. He wanted me to move in a month later.
I see change after 2nd week, he wants me to come to his house during week, he works some weekends. He still texts a lot, says he loves me on 2nd week. He became cold, uncaring, wall up. He admits he does that. I end up apologizing, we had good time. Next week, he has plans to take me out officially for birthday weekend.
He goes ballistic saying he called, I showed no missed calls. I sent him my phone history. He asked if I was seeing someone else, I must not care, etc. We ended up going, after he calmed down. His wall goes up, he brings me home. I ask if we can forget this, have a good day? Tomorrow will be better, I need to sleep on it and we will go to brunch maybe. His ex is getting alimony and he despises her.
He makes good money, but lives like a pauper. When he told me, he said many women leave me, because of my background.
He sent me a text 2 days later, asking how I was. I responded a day later, stating I was disappointed he never called about brunch. I met this young woman 5 years ago. She was a good friend of my then-partner, and we double dated at the bar a couple times. She was a physically ideal woman for my dreams. She moved to the east coast, which was more impressive to me than anything for the reason she moved with her then beau was, in my opinion, a wonderful choice to find herself, and at the time, themselves; losing themselves in the experience of life, of which no nobler journey could be had.
For anyone who can be unselfishly happy for any other human, this is a great thing to see. A sense of ambition and self-defined purpose.
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I heard about them, but I rarely saw or heard from them. Facebook banter here and there. Unrelated, I chose to leave my girlfriend as she was wanting something more and I never had that positive closure that I loved this woman to my core.
This just about brings us current. When I came back from my journey, a new and reinvigorated person, I dabbled as a FWB with my ex — as we were and are still very good friends, for about a year. That was good until it was becoming not, and we both decided to chill out on seeing each other for a time. That was until about August My ex has since found herself a great guy to date, which has been great to see. Over the course of that year as a fwb, I reconnected with this beautiful girl from years earlier, who had broken up with her original man. I exchanged numbers and a few conversations and that led to getting together once every few months or so.
6 ways to take things slow in a relationship without stringing someone along - HelloGiggles
I took her to dinner a couple times, we met up at her place a couple times, mine a couple times, and it was all rather innocent, get to know this beautiful and beautifully deep young woman. This spanned between about May to October or so. Perhaps sensing this, the day before she comes, she lays the bomb. Well, throughout these such brief moments of companionship, a boyfriend was never brought up. After some time, I gave it thought and decided to tell her to bring the guy on by. It gets a bit complicated, but suffice it to say, here are the pertinents: I figure, keep your enemies closer, lets give the sport a lookdown.
Guy is a good enough kid to drink with, but ignorant as hell, and I could immediately see the maniupulative tendencies. It was actually very enlightening to watch her interact.
Which, coming from previous relationships, has been incredibly refreshing and insightful. But chemistry is such a limited piece of the consideration of the big picture, I chose to just continue enjoying the occasional get togethers for what they were. Mom went down to bed after a bit and my friend and I drank two glasses of wine, jammed and smoked on the balcony. In what I can only describe as a growing, insatiable urge, we both leaned in and kissed. Very sweet and playful. No tension or angst.
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Just simple things here and there. I hemmed and hawed, but the festival was an Aloha Festival. Begrudgingly to myself, to be more specific. After confirming, I drove down to meet them at the festival.
Ask a Guy: He Wants to Take It Slow… Now?
We spent the next 2 hours enjoying the festival and then decided to go grab a beer at a local haunt that was known for shuffleboard and ping pong and bags and that sort of thing. We had a few beers and she asked if I wanted to see her office which was across the street in the same parking garage as both our vehicles. But their motivations were because he took her away from them as a unit of friends. She has been so beat down by everyone in her life, she clams up. But cracks in the shell reveal this fantastic light that has to come through as she grows up a bit more.
As good as I could be for her today, I will be infinitely better in the morrows. Either as a friend a few months apart in visits so as to calm that undeniable connection, or as something more defined that grows toward each other. This has been rather cathartic.
Well, reading this article made me realize what I did wrong. Now what would be better to do, step back and be discreetly around? Or come straight forward again and ask for another chance to be around and take things slow? I broke up from a six year relationship and thought I was ok with things, well until I started to see people and realise how much I wanted someone back in my life.
I could and should have pulled back and given space, but instead in my clouded delusional view I felt this was them not wanting me so I felt the solution was to increased my efforts thus pushing them away. Only after the most recent experience have I stopped to stock of my behaviour and how I dealt with things… I think the advice above is sound for both men and women, move ahead at a pace where both parties feel comfortable….
As much as it was sad and upsetting I feel better equipped and intend to go a lot slower when, I hopefully meet someone else. All, I am in my mid thirties male with decent personality and financial status. Just came out from a long relationship. What does that actually mean?? I work in a big organization with buildings far apart from each other. I noticed a young girl who works in another department. She never noticed me in the beginning but some weeks later she knew my interest in her.